Warning: Rapists on the loose!!!

Published March 01, 2010 by Chincho the Pug.
Filed under Bitsy, Rocco, Rufus .

What a tough few months for HPD. Not only is the Heights arsonist still at large, now there are serial rapists on the loose --- lurking behind dark corners...waiting for their next victim to lift her tail! No dog is safe, well except for maybe huskies. It all started when Chincho and Bitsy decided to be good Christians and introduce themselves to the new neighbors --- who shall be referred to as the "House of Blues" --- for obvious reasons. After exchanging pleasantries, Bitsy excused herself to the backyard for some fresh air (the neighbors seemed a bit stuffy for her taste)....but what she got instead was a couple of fresh mutts!

That's right. America's favorite Chihuahua was cornered and violated by Rocco and Rufus. We hear that while the attack took place Mr. and Mrs. HOB giggled while drinking alcohol. Typical! Fortunately, the rapists didn't know what they were doing and mainly just humped her rib cage --- Gee, I wonder where they learned that move???

Though Bitsy's virginity is still in tact, she will never be the same. She has become extremely anxious, violent and moody and is working with local ministers to get her through this time. Chincho can't help but wonder how different the neighborhood would be if there was an HOA in place....is it too much to ask that you not be from Pasadena?!?